A New Endeavor

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Molly and I have undergone a pretty intense "season" of change these past months. We're talking riding-a-wild-stallion-bareback-through-a-minefield intense season of change.

Besides getting married (which short of giving your life to Jesus, is just about the most world-altering thing you'll ever experience), we became first-time homebuyers. And no, rumor mill, mommy and daddy didn't buy it for us. We did, indeed, purchase the house with, wait for it, our own money.

Lately, our priority list consists of figuring out what's on our priority list. Friends have turned on us, goals that were once important to us have been put on the backburner, and to top it all off, we both recently just left our jobs on less-than-ideal terms with our previous employer.

On the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (a life unit scale regarded by the medical community as the best predictor for stress-related illness), marriage, loss of friends or loved ones, purchasing a home, and changing jobs are all among the top 20 most stressful events that can happen to an individual. Believe me when I tell you, we didn't need a group of psychologists to tell us that. We've felt the effects of every last "life unit" from each of those events.

But you know what the psychologists didn't bank on? They didn't factor in an awesome God coaching us through it all. And you know what else? We're hanging in there, and we're doing a pretty dang good job of it.

Despite the months of searching, despite a lender committing mortgage fraud and causing our first contract to fall through, despite saving every last penny we could only to turn around and spend a nauseating amount of money on a down payment, God allowed us to walk away with the keys to a beautiful, affordable home.

Despite having my integrity questioned by a corrupt workplace full of "cookie cutter Christians," despite raising money to help people in need only to find out they were blowing it on new cars and vacations, despite serving faithfully with leadership I could never fully trust, God provided me with a new, better paying job that provides enough for Molly to go back to school. God has taken away our misery and replaced it with happiness and more time together as a family.

And despite being told, time and again, how we were moving too fast, despite being told that getting married young was a bad decision, despite being told (literally) that "you will most likely not make it," despite the naysayers, the doubters, the "friends" waiting and hoping for us to fail, God has taken care of us. God is taking care of us. God is growing us. God is with us.

That's all I could ever ask or hope for, to know that my God has my back regardless of what anyone else, friend, coworker, boss, family member, or otherwise have to say about it.

Change is defined by Webster's Dictionary simply as "to become different."

Through it all, that's what Molly and I have done. That's what we're continuing to do. Heck, being different is what God calls us to do. When seasons of change come, it isn't easy by any vastly exaggerated stretch of the imagination. Staying where we are may be easier, remaining stagnant may feel safer, but God's will is so much better, so much more rewarding than any risk we could ever encounter.

Whether we want to admit it or not, when life demands change, when God demands change, it must be unprejudiced and wholehearted. We can't always plan for it. Sometimes, change takes whatever it is you thought you knew or understood and throws it in your face, demeans you. Sometimes, change holds you down and forces you to rethink your priorities, forces you to come to grips with the fact that things simply cannot stay the same.

And we aren't staying the same, we won't stay the same. If that means leaving behind a bad job or friends who won't grow up, so be it. But every new day is a gift from God, a new endeavor that we have to choose to take on, to adapt and grow with.

Don't waste it.

Excuses, motivation, and some other junk

"Above all else, to thine ownself be true."

- Shakespeare

Most of us grew up with some form or assemblage of these words echoed through parents, teachers, preachers, and friends. We've heard stories, read books, and watched movies where the protagonist emerges triumphant despite wave after wave of opposing forces trying to convince them to deny a part of themselves.

We've foolishly absorbed this information as if it was nothing more than an inspirational pick-me-up for the soul. Our generation is locked in this purgatorial stasis where we acknowledge the necessity to be true to ourselves, but yet, we consistently neglect to do so. We treat self-actualization like a period of rapid ascension into adulthood or some post-mid-life enlightenment designed to kick in at a predetermined moment in our lives, but it's not. It was never meant to be like that.

Owning up to who you are as an individual, the core of your metaphysical existence is not an event contained by any time-based parameters. It's a process that you have to take part in, choose to take part in everyday. And I say choose because it's 100% your decision who you are and who you want to become.

This isn't some motivational speech. This is your life we're talking about.

Stop trying to define yourself through your friends. There's an old saying that goes, "If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck, and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly." 

Frankly, that's a load of crap. 

That statement is so fundamentally weak that it might as well gift wrap an excuse for the behavior of every individual who falls prey to it. Statements like that apply situation-based logic to displace blame and mask guilt. It's nothing more than a glorified, universal crutch. 

I'm here to tell you that I make my own choices, not my friends, acquaintances, or anyone else I interact with. I make my own choices just like every other human being on this planet God created including yourself. Free will isn't just a cute little biblical concept that we toss around on Sunday morning to make us feel warm and fuzzy. The living, breathing creator God thrust His hand into each and every man and woman and specifically positioned free will at the forefront of our design. Free will isn't an afterthought; it's hard-coded into our DNA. Free will is etched into our souls.

Ephesians 6:11-13 says,

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything...stand."

In simple terms: "God can literally protect you from the devil himself, the embodiment of evil, so why are you worried about everything else?"

In even simpler terms: "Take your excuses and shove 'em."

Stop trying to absolve yourself of the guilt you feel for your past actions, seeking refuge in "yes men" (and "yes women") to soothe the sting on your conscience. Stop trying to define yourself or "find yourself" in anything this world has to offer. Stop letting your job deteriorate your value system. Stop allowing negative people to influence you, and when they do influence you, for Pete's sake, don't make up some screwball excuse. You messed up. Own it, and move on.

God gave you one shot at a beautiful, fulfilling life, but you have to take charge of it. You have to stop letting authority figures bully you because you have the Ultimate Authority on your side. Stop letting people tell you the way you think or feel or act is wrong when everything in your soul tells you otherwise. Stop living in fear and misery.

Cut the crap. Drop the act. Make use of the free will God gave you.

I know you've heard it a bajillion times from every person under the sun, but for the sake of your heart and happiness and future listen and absorb and dissect these words...

Just be you.